When I was a little girl , about 8 years old I dreamed about being old... When I was finally there , Old ... seemed like a disappointment. When I was small everything came in a nicely raped package with colorful ribbons attached. Back then I thought that everything is for granted...My parents , my life... But then I grew up... You know what they say ..." Be careful what you wish for , because you might just get it " .When I became a rebel I wanted to live alone without my parents , and I did it more then once... Then I didn't realize how empty my life can be without one of them. Back then I had the certitude that they will always be there...But then life came back at me and bit me by the rear end...nine months after I left home and moved away alone in a rented apartment the most horrible thing happened. On the 4th of April 2008 my father passed away three hours later after I came back home... I was so disappointed that at first I couldn't even mourn his death... I kept on thinking " How could he ? How could he leave me alone ? " Nine months later it's Christmas Eve and I begin to put up the Christmas tree .I used to do that with my father...I find this old box with photos and I look at some old pictures of me and my family... I see him and then I look in the mirror in front of me... The spitting image of my father... Same eyes, same nose...same smile...
This IS a disappointment... My first Christmas without him... And there are many more to come...
miercuri, 24 decembrie 2008
miercuri, 17 decembrie 2008
The scent of life...
Your skin so pale ,your eyes so black, your heart beats inside of you so fast it drives me mad.
I see your eyes glowing in the dark , staring at me...
I get closer and closer to you ...I am not afraid...
-"Ooh your scent it's killing me ... ripping me apart...it's the smell of your skin... of your blood flowing through every little vein underneath it...taking me away with every breath...
Your scent it's like adrenaline to me ...
-" I could stay like this forever..."
-"Forever is a very long time" -
Forever is what I dream about...
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